You guys, she’s not even sorry. Not even a little bit. After reading multiple headlines all saying the same thing: ‘Candace Cameron Bure addresses ‘inappropriate’ PDA pic with husband after backlash from Christian fans’ — I thought, what the actual hell is even happening?!
Candace is best known for her role as D.J. Tanner on Fuller House. Those who’ve followed her career over the years have seen her grow out of her role as the cute little girl into the strong, and still ridiculously cute woman we see today. Her life is marked by her love of family, marriage, and Jesus. Over her career she’s used her platform to spur on believers to love Christ more fully and to be an authentic follower of Christ. Candace has a unique ability to connect with both believers and non-believers alike. She’s taken heat as a conservative voice on the popular daytime show ‘The View’ and garnered praise from Christians for standing up for biblical truth. Her parenting style, marriage, and life in general is constantly praised while simultaneously criticized because well… there’s never a shortage of critics who have some sort of opinion about something. In a culture of constant offense, unfortunately we readily take up other people’s [presumed] offense, real or not, and run with it.
Candace married her husband Valeri Bure in 1996 and together they have three children. A few days ago, Candace posted a picture on her Instagram feed of her husband playfully placing his hand on her breast or as some said, ‘groping her boob.’ I laugh even typing the word ‘groping’ because good grief they’re married and she clearly wasn’t offended, degraded, or ashamed by his hand placement. She’s faced disparaging remarks in the past for her views on roles within her marriage. She undoubtedly loves who God created her to be and understands the value of her role as wife and mom.
As you read this piece, I want you to know that this topic has very little to do with Candace and her husband ‘groping’ her boob and everything to do with us, the church. I highly doubt Candace cares what you think about her marriage, but I’d bet she does care what you believe about yours.
So, let’s talk about it. Candace isn’t offended by her boob being touched by her husband, so why are you offended for her?
Marriage is incredible! It really is… But it’s also very hard at times. Our world is saturated with sexual images and very few of them are coming from healthy or thriving marriages. Why do we condemn and shame couples who are still totally into each other after almost twenty-five years of marriage?
Are Christian marriages really not allowed to publicly and respectfully ‘grope’ each other? It was a playful picture that captured the fun they have together. Is it inappropriate for a woman to affectionately grab her husband’s butt? Absolutely not. There’s nothing inappropriate about playfully touching a boob or giving a quick little squeeze of a cheek.
We aren’t talking about fondling of genitals here but since we’re on the topic, let’s dive in.
We as a church are not doomed to boring sex and a life void of public displays of affection. Don’t get me started on the topic of keeping things fun and exciting. That’s a whole class us ‘older’ church ladies should be teaching. [Coming soon from this old married church lady that thoroughly enjoys the privileges of marriage.]
(((Hey church))) It’s okay for marriage to be fun and playful!!!
If you aren’t into PDA, cool. Don’t do it. But for the rest of us…
Boring doesn’t have to be the plight of a Christian. I believe Christians underscore the importance of modeling sexual freedom within a healthy marriage.
“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” Proverbs 5:18-19
There you have it; Candace and Val were only following scripture. Lol.
I’d encourage every person that disagrees with sexual freedom within the confines of marriage to read and memorize the book of Song of Songs. It’s a bit scandalous, so get ready. It talks about climbing her tree and taking hold of her fruit — entering her garden — and other stuff like that, careful it may rock your world. Be offended, that’s fine, but take it to the author — not His people.
The excitement found in the Bible isn’t reserved for the honeymoon. In fact, intimacy only gets better and better with time. Why? Because good sex is a bi-product of knowing and loving our spouse through the most mundane and ordinary of things. It’s unique to each of us. When we refuse to allow ourselves to become complacent and lazy, we find new—fun ways of pursuing and even ‘satisfying’ our spouse sexually. Why aren’t older brides excitedly sharing with younger women about the challenges and joys of good sex? Really, why? This isn’t a shameful conversation.
Our breasts are to satisfy our husband all the days of our lives.
That’ll preach because it’s biblical and shouldn’t be taboo.
I’ve yet to talk with a woman who says, ‘I sure hope he stops finding me so attractive and desires someone else more than me.’ That’s ludicrous.
In fact, through tears, I hear the exact opposite. ‘I don’t think I’m beautiful to him anymore.’ “He doesn’t ever compliment me.’ ‘Am I enough physically?’
I could list statements all day that I’ve personally felt or heard from women over the years.
We never want our husbands to grow tired and bored of our body. We want him to want us in all ways. Pursuing our heart, mind and always finding joy, newness and satisfaction with our body.
God created us with boobs, butts, penises and vaginas on purpose! Sexual pleasure was His idea from the beginning, and He declared ‘It is Good!’
I don’t know about you, but I want my children to grow up understanding that sex isn’t a dirty secret, meant to be done in a prim and proper way — only with the lights off.
Sex and physical touch are a gift that God lavishes upon his children.
Yes, He lavishes intimacy and sex, with our spouse, upon us and He wants each of us to enjoy each other all the days of our life.
Christians sit up and listen… Candace wasn’t lit up by non-Christians. She was ridiculed and harassed by the very people that praise her when she acts ‘properly’. Come on now! Touching, embracing, kissing and yes even getting a handful of your wife’s boob, is permissible.
In her own words Candace replied to naysayers, “For all the Christians that are questioning my post with my husband’s hand on my boob — my husband of 24 years — thinking it was inappropriate, it makes me laugh because it’s my husband. We have so much fun together…. He can touch me anytime he wants, and I hope he does. This is what a healthy, good marriage and relationship is all about.”
If your spouse is uncomfortable with you touching their boob — Stop it!!! Those feelings could change over time… have a healthy conversation about it. This is marriage, talk about hard things.
We all have beliefs rooted in something. Perhaps you grew up seeing men degrade women and touch them in ways that was inappropriate. Or maybe you’ve seen women be objectified and felt the photo was demeaning. I get it, I really do. But your experiences and your roots say nothing about someone else’s marriage or how they love and honor their spouse. Yes, including grabbing a boob or a cheek.
Normalizing physical touch between a husband and wife and viewing it as a gift from our creator is a trend I can stand behind.
May our boobs always bring our husband joy and even cause him to grin from ear to ear when he’s caught in the act of playfully loving in physical ways.
Enjoy your spouses’ body. Don’t apologize for it either.
